Ben Cousins was the nation's foremost druggie c*nt.
Mainwaring was a stupid c*nt for being his mate.
Now Richmond FC is giving the c*nt more money.
I wonder if you could actually add up how many Aussie kids are going to die as a direct result of this decision?
Then we could add to that the kids who go mad or become miserable loners and losers?
If you interviewed every kid admitted to casualty or a phych ward across Australia for drug related heath problems and asked them about Ben Cousins I reckon you'd get alot of responses like, "If Ben Cousins is allowed to take drugs why can't I?"
Then maybe you could interview these same kids in a year's time and see how many are alive, happy, employed, sane etc. That might give you some idea. Maybe you'd have to narrow it down to AFL fans, or even Eagles and Richmond fans, but i reckon it would still be alot more than zero.
Does anyone out there have the wherewithal to do this research? Maybe someone who's involved with Hawthorn. Maybe Someone who deals with mental health issues aswell? Hmm i wonder if there is such a hero?
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Survivor, Aussie style
Location: The Kimberley, WA.
Your first task is to turn your busted 4WD into a makeshift campsite with shelter and sleeping facilities, then devise a way of trapping rainwater for drinking and survive for a week by catching and eating wild animals. You must not eat your own dog, for he is your best friend, but must rather feed it from your hunt.
Result: PASS
Well done. Your next task is to befriend the local fauna by speaking their animal language and then re-assemble your 4WD into a Kookaburra-powered flying machine and travel to civilisation by air navigating your way via the river system.
Expected result: No wuckin furries!
Your first task is to turn your busted 4WD into a makeshift campsite with shelter and sleeping facilities, then devise a way of trapping rainwater for drinking and survive for a week by catching and eating wild animals. You must not eat your own dog, for he is your best friend, but must rather feed it from your hunt.
Result: PASS
Well done. Your next task is to befriend the local fauna by speaking their animal language and then re-assemble your 4WD into a Kookaburra-powered flying machine and travel to civilisation by air navigating your way via the river system.
Expected result: No wuckin furries!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Drugs Are For C*nts
Fiona Connolly in the Sydney Daily Telegraph asks why Young Australian of the Year contender Iktimal Hage-Ali is not ashamed of her cocaine use?
Because, Fiona, all people on coke are wankers. They never feel ashamed of anything because they are convinced the sun shines out of their arses when stuff goes up their noses.
I have been sitting on this next thing for a while coz it's a bit crude, but I'm gonna put it out there because it needs to be said. Mild content warning: If you cant handle the c-word TOO LATE! but i've cleaned it up with asterixes's (*). Which makes it less funny but i dont want my blogger account frozen, you c*nts.
Add a c*nt...
Because, Fiona, all people on coke are wankers. They never feel ashamed of anything because they are convinced the sun shines out of their arses when stuff goes up their noses.
I have been sitting on this next thing for a while coz it's a bit crude, but I'm gonna put it out there because it needs to be said. Mild content warning: If you cant handle the c-word TOO LATE! but i've cleaned it up with asterixes's (*). Which makes it less funny but i dont want my blogger account frozen, you c*nts.
Drugs Are For C*nts is an on-line campaign dedicated to tacking Australia’s biggest problem: c*nts on drugs.
The problem basically is that drugs make you a c*nt.
Please read this message and pass it on to any c*nt that needs to hear it.
Pick a c*nt…
The Lazy C*nt
Drug Of Choice: Marijuana
Smoking weed takes away this c*nt’s desire to do anything else with their life. Eventually, having achieved nothing in life, becomes a miserable c*nt.
The Pissweak C*nt
DOC: Marijuana, Ecstasy
The drugs take away this c*nt’s ability to stand up for themself. Lacks the emotional strength to make decisions, so is always “going with the flow man”. Doomed to be a sheep and run with the herd. When all the other sheep eventually abandon them to their drugs, becomes a miserable c*nt.
The Miserable C*nt
DOC: Any, mostly Marijuana
This c*nt constantly feels oppressed and downtrodden, as if the world is against them and/or they can’t do anything right. Oscillates between self-pity and rage against anything and everything, including themselves. Bitter, whinging c*nt. Tries desperately to cling to strangers entering their life, ends up freaking them out and bringing them down, so they leave. Becomes a miserable old c*nt.
The Boring C*nt
DOC: All, particularly Marijuana, Ecstasy and Cocaine
This c*nt thinks they are doing something significant with their lives when they aren’t. Thinks they are funny when they aren’t. Thinks they are smart when they aren’t. Thinks nobody else has noticed they aren’t. See also: stupid c*nt.
The Stupid C*nt
DOC: Speed, Ice
Always does stupid stuff when on drugs such as getting in fights, crashing cars, getting pregnant. C*nt’s always getting in trouble with the law, parents, friends and anyone else who gives a shit about them. Becomes either a thieving c*nt or a dead c*nt.
The Stuck-up C*nt
DOC: Cocaine
A total wanker both on and off the gear. See also: boring c*nt. This c*nt thinks they are god’s gift to just about everything because they managed to snort a powdery substance off a piss-stinking public toilet seat. Wrongly believes they have found an alternative source of self-esteem to substitute for achieving things. Congratulations. Now f*ck off, c*nt
The Spaced-out C*nt
DOC: Marijuana, LSD, Mushrooms and other hallucinogens
Convinced that, when on drugs, they have uniquely truthful insights into the meaning of life and love, yet can never seem to remember what they were once the drugs wear off. This c*nt does tarot and crystal healing and acts like they are like the most in-tune with the universe of any c*nt since Morrison, man. See also Stupid c*nt, boring c*nt.
The Thieving C*nt
DOC: Heroin
This c*nt rips off family, friends, strangers, anyone and everything within reach to fuel their habit. Isolates themselves from everyone who gives a f*ck. All drives for food, shelter, love and morality are subordinated to the drive to get f*cked albeit temporarily. A miserable c*nt the entire time they aren’t f*cked. Becomes a dead c*nt faster than most.
The Psycho C*nt
DOC: All
One minute they are fine, the next this c*nt thinks they are Jesus, then they are Satan, then Napoleon. Off the f*cking planet. You never know who the phycho c*nt is gonna be before they take the drugs and flip out. It could be you. It could be the c*nt you give the drugs to. Known to be a violent c*nt towards people they were mates with a moment ago. Frequently the psycho c*nt permanently damages their brain, never fully recovering proper emotional function, and becomes a miserable c*nt.
The Dead C*nt
DOC: Ice, Heroin
Whether it’s behind the wheel of a car or an in bed from an overdose, sooner or later death catches up with c*nts who takes drugs. Good riddance, if ya asked me. A dead c*nt is the only good c*nt.
Add a c*nt...
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
If it's war he wants...
...then war he shall have.
I cannot believe this philistinism and elitism from Melbourne's new lord mayor.
He has opened fire on the "bogans and bad buskers" in Melbourne's CBD.
What? What precisely is the big emergency with buskers?
Family time?? When does this alcohol get consumed? Who takes their kids out at midnight? I mean what the hell is this guy on about?
It seems to not make any sense but this is dog-whistle politics for Melbourne snobs. The whistle is tuned to the frequency only the owners of corgis, poodles and shitzus can here.
It is the most odious sucking-up to the milky morally-superior middle class that i think i have ever heard. He's just buying into their distaste for PLT - people like them (as opposed to PLU, people like us, which is to say, them)
There's not even any specifics. He just throws the word bogan in there and everyone has a little chuckle at the expense of the suburbanites like we're all watching an episode of Kath and Kim.
I am honestly disgusted by this patronising, lofty moral elitism. It's the same class politics that we all hate the Labor party for. And a former liberal is now rubbing this filth all over himself.
What is a bogan? I think we all understand it's a person from the suburbs without a university education (unless they have an engineering degree like me in which case you are still a bogan) who wears non-designer jeans, non-designer flannelette shirts and was into Motley Crue before anyone on Chapel street had even heard of them. They like waving the aussie flag at sports events and music festivals. They are big-hearted friendly people but have a healthy distrust for airs and graces being unafraid to fart in public. It's a free country after all. They state their views plainly, for the same reason.
The Bogans are the Bon Scotts, the Angry Andersons, the Shane Warnes, the Lara Bingles, and the John Howards.
Basically Bogans, male and female, have balls.
It's this very stubborn self-possession that offends the middle class. It reminds them too much of the upper-class, the warrior princes, whom they hope to emulate but can't because they are so mentally pissweak. No middle-class ponce will ever even openly disagree with anyone else, let alone challenge them to a duel.
They over-compensate for their sickly weakness, and attendant lack of real respect, by forever attacking the bogans for the lack of morality - which is similar actually to the upper-classes lack of morality, but the middle class are too busy sucking up to them to direct criticism upwards.
The moral middle class are forever finding new things about bogans to dissapprove of, from tastes to lifestyles to houses to cars. Lately global warming elitists love to bash V8 drivers for using up too much petrol, and then hop on a plane to europe.
Now, according to the lord mayor, the very presence of a bogan is offensive and possibly soon to be against the law in the CBD.
Well i for one will not stand for it.
I call on all Bogans to don the flannalette with pride, rev up their Holdens, pump the AC/DC to full volume (for a review of their latest album click here) and head for the Melbourne CBD.
Dont do anything illegal or anti-social, not that a bogan would. Dont shout abuse at anyone with dreadlocks, as tempting as that might be. Just make your presence felt by having a rip-roaring good time. Sing songs arm-in-arm with your mates. Flirt mercilessly with bogans of the opposite sex. Drink responsibly but loudly. Rock out as only a Bogan can.
Show that putrid patronising prick of a Mayor who here knows how to have a good time, and that we as Australian citizens have the right to do it wherever and whenever we like.
Bogans are the beating heart of this great nation. We are the only ones left in the country with the ANZAC's fighting spirit. Dont let some gutless wanker tell you you dont belong in the heart of your own city.
Bon Scott is rolling over in his grave (albeit in Fremantle) knowing that the city where he filmed the video for Long Way To The Top on the back of a truck is now closed off to his fans. How is the Melbourne music scene to survive the loss of its most copious beer-buying patrons?
Do not dissappoint Bon, the man who had the greatest lust for life of any human being, let alone Australian, who has ever lived.
So unto the CBD, my fellow Bogans, once more. If you see me there shout "Oi!" and together we will shake the foundations and rock this ponce off his high horse. Mine's a Carlton Draught.
I cannot believe this philistinism and elitism from Melbourne's new lord mayor.
He has opened fire on the "bogans and bad buskers" in Melbourne's CBD.
BOGANS and bad buskers will be driven off Melbourne's streets as new Lord Mayor Robert Doyle looks to make the city family friendly.
Mr Doyle said this morning he would work with nightclub owners and the Australian Hotels Association to address alcohol fuelled violence and that he did not want the city "to become a bogan magnet."
"I actually want families to feel comfortable coming in to the city, bringing their kids and having family time," he told 3AW.
What? What precisely is the big emergency with buskers?
Family time?? When does this alcohol get consumed? Who takes their kids out at midnight? I mean what the hell is this guy on about?
It seems to not make any sense but this is dog-whistle politics for Melbourne snobs. The whistle is tuned to the frequency only the owners of corgis, poodles and shitzus can here.
It is the most odious sucking-up to the milky morally-superior middle class that i think i have ever heard. He's just buying into their distaste for PLT - people like them (as opposed to PLU, people like us, which is to say, them)
There's not even any specifics. He just throws the word bogan in there and everyone has a little chuckle at the expense of the suburbanites like we're all watching an episode of Kath and Kim.
I am honestly disgusted by this patronising, lofty moral elitism. It's the same class politics that we all hate the Labor party for. And a former liberal is now rubbing this filth all over himself.
What is a bogan? I think we all understand it's a person from the suburbs without a university education (unless they have an engineering degree like me in which case you are still a bogan) who wears non-designer jeans, non-designer flannelette shirts and was into Motley Crue before anyone on Chapel street had even heard of them. They like waving the aussie flag at sports events and music festivals. They are big-hearted friendly people but have a healthy distrust for airs and graces being unafraid to fart in public. It's a free country after all. They state their views plainly, for the same reason.
The Bogans are the Bon Scotts, the Angry Andersons, the Shane Warnes, the Lara Bingles, and the John Howards.
Basically Bogans, male and female, have balls.
It's this very stubborn self-possession that offends the middle class. It reminds them too much of the upper-class, the warrior princes, whom they hope to emulate but can't because they are so mentally pissweak. No middle-class ponce will ever even openly disagree with anyone else, let alone challenge them to a duel.
They over-compensate for their sickly weakness, and attendant lack of real respect, by forever attacking the bogans for the lack of morality - which is similar actually to the upper-classes lack of morality, but the middle class are too busy sucking up to them to direct criticism upwards.
The moral middle class are forever finding new things about bogans to dissapprove of, from tastes to lifestyles to houses to cars. Lately global warming elitists love to bash V8 drivers for using up too much petrol, and then hop on a plane to europe.
Now, according to the lord mayor, the very presence of a bogan is offensive and possibly soon to be against the law in the CBD.
Well i for one will not stand for it.
I call on all Bogans to don the flannalette with pride, rev up their Holdens, pump the AC/DC to full volume (for a review of their latest album click here) and head for the Melbourne CBD.
Dont do anything illegal or anti-social, not that a bogan would. Dont shout abuse at anyone with dreadlocks, as tempting as that might be. Just make your presence felt by having a rip-roaring good time. Sing songs arm-in-arm with your mates. Flirt mercilessly with bogans of the opposite sex. Drink responsibly but loudly. Rock out as only a Bogan can.
Show that putrid patronising prick of a Mayor who here knows how to have a good time, and that we as Australian citizens have the right to do it wherever and whenever we like.
Bogans are the beating heart of this great nation. We are the only ones left in the country with the ANZAC's fighting spirit. Dont let some gutless wanker tell you you dont belong in the heart of your own city.
Bon Scott is rolling over in his grave (albeit in Fremantle) knowing that the city where he filmed the video for Long Way To The Top on the back of a truck is now closed off to his fans. How is the Melbourne music scene to survive the loss of its most copious beer-buying patrons?
Do not dissappoint Bon, the man who had the greatest lust for life of any human being, let alone Australian, who has ever lived.
So unto the CBD, my fellow Bogans, once more. If you see me there shout "Oi!" and together we will shake the foundations and rock this ponce off his high horse. Mine's a Carlton Draught.
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